Friday / October 30 / 2020
Conflicting beauty
Early first signs of winter are upon us here in Boston and the conflicting beauty goes hand in hand with my Daddy being in hospice. I know he will be in the presence of our God once he transitions from this life and yet, I wrestle with being Daddy’s Little Girl without having my Daddy.
The conflicting beauty I see in God’s tapestry is bright, vibrant foliage and blooms now covered with the magic of fresh fallen snow. How do they live side by side so harmoniously? Especially when it came so much earlier than they were expecting. Such a story they tell about tolerance, acceptance, rolling with the punches, and the profound beauty of living in the moment.
I have so much more to learn about living in the moment and being grateful. Our entire yard is like watching God paint, create, and smile. His mercies are new every morning and I’m thankful He grants us fresh eyes to see the beauty in the unexpected or, dare I say, what seems premature or ‘doesn’t seem right’.
Simply because it doesn’t make logical sense to me, I know His ways are greater and good and best – both in nature and with my beloved Daddy. I trust Him implicitly.
Just two nights ago, my Dad was admitted to hospice after battling heart failure for the past six months. His heart, kidneys, and liver are all failing and there’s nothing more they can do to help him medically, other than to help make him as comfortable as possible.
There is so much silver lining and I am grateful for the gift of my Dad
* the times he & I arose before the sun in the 1970s to share cereal out of individual serving boxes on the balcony of The Thunderbird Motel in Virginia Beach as Mom and Mark slept (I always got to pick the most sugary because I was up first, afterall!)
* the reassuring times he brushed the tears from my cheeks and told me everything was going to be okay (and I believed him)
* how he pushed me and challenged me to lean into my highest and greatest good, particularly when I didn’t believe I was capable or good enough
* his larger than life laugh and presence and the way he taught me to love shenanigans as much as he does
* the songs he simply cannot leave unsung if you start just the right one (i.e. for my family: “The snow lay on the ground….“!)
* the way he came to life two months ago when I cranked up a Beach Boys CD as Mom & I drove him to have his aortic valve replacement surgery. Tapping his toes, swaying to the music, singing most of the words. Silent tears of gratitude fell down my cheeks as Mom & I sang along with him, relishing every morsel.
My Momma is an angel, who has been with him every step of the way. They were high school sweethearts and have lived life together for more than six decades. Amidst all of this, our whole family has grown so much closer to each other with a bond that cannot be severed.
As early as this morning, Daddy’s decline is evident. Death is the one thing we’re certain awaits, no matter our beliefs, upbringing, health habits, or how ‘good’ we’ve been. It’s unavoidable. Mandatory, if you will. And yet, that doesn’t make it any easier, right?
As our family processes through this, we remain beyond grateful for the incredible outpouring of kindness, love, prayers, and thoughtfulness from all of you.
Our hearts are hurting but full.
We take comfort in knowing God loves those we love well beyond what any of us could ever comprehend. Certainly, we’re not the only ones facing challenging times. We hope you will take comfort in knowing that is true for you and your family, too.
If you’re so inclined, please share a comment and/or a memory you have of my Dad, Don Racette and perhaps, how he impacted your life. PLEASE SHARE YOUR COMMENT DIRECTLY HERE ON THIS BLOG (rather than on social media) so it will live on forever here in one place. THANK YOU! We love, appreciate, and respect each one of you and send God’s greatest love and blessings to you.
I am very sorry to hear this. Our prayers are with you all
Thank you! I love my Mannix Marketing family.
Love,
Donna
Beautiful Sissy!
Thank you, my beautiful baby Sissy. I love you so much and am beyond grateful we’re family.
Love,
Donna
I know he is special because he raised one very beautiful daughter. My heart goes out to you!!
This warms my heart to read, Rach. I love you and appreciate all your love, prayers, and support. Thank you.
Love,
Donna
Thinking of you and praying for you all. Praying your father is resting comfortably. Live and hugs❤
It means a lot, Kelly. Thank you! I can’t help but smile as I remember my Daddy singing your name when you and Debbie would hang out…. “Keeeeeelly Finnegan – begin again” (over and over) haha! Love you, girl.
Love,
Donna
My memory that stands out was during one of the plays at School. We were doing cheaper by the Dozen that year and there were not enough boys for the parts, so he turned them into girls. I played one of them. Such a fun time for sure. It was amazing to be included. 3 years ago at this time, my Momma was on Hospice. As a Nurse, death and decline was nothing new to me, but this was my Momma. She was not afraid to go. She prepared for the day her whole life. She had such a strong faith!! Alzheimer’s was not kind to her and took her way too soon, or maybe it was God’s way of saying, you have done well good and faithful servant. Now rest. My heart will be with you during these next day, weeks or however long God chooses. May you find comfort in your memories and peace in your heart.
Oh, Angela, what a fun memory and beautiful sentiment. I did not know your sweet Momma but wow, how profoundly she lived out her faith. I just love, “She prepared for the day her whole life. She had such a strong faith!!” My Daddy shares that with you and your Momma and I’ve no doubt they’ll be organizing some sort of shenanigans in Heaven together soon. Perhaps along the lines of Cheaper by the Dozen! Thank you so much for sharing. Love and light to you always.
Love,
Donna
Thank you for sharing a piece of your dad with us. I feel like I know him and in a way, I do, through you. We can look in your eyes and see the compassion he instilled in you. His smile shines through you as you laugh and share your joy and enthusiasm with others. And something tells me his strength and faith is grounded in you and will be what gets you through those lonely moments of being daddy’s little girl – now and for always. Prayers for you and your family sweet lady.
This is beautiful, LD. Wow, what a beautiful compliment you just paid me and I am grateful (and crying lol). Life and faith and laughter are contagious. I’m grateful to share them all with you. Love you, girl.
Love,
Donna
So sorry to hear this about your Dad. I know one thing. You will always be Daddy’s little girl. He will be your Angel to continue to help and protect you through life. I remember your Dad having so much patience in teaching me Math. Believe me you needed it with me. He will be greatly missed by many. You an your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Sweet Anna, thank you so much for this reminder. And LOL, he got plenty of “patience practice” with me, too! What a saint. Love and light to you always.
Love,
Donna
Donna and family… I’m so very sorry you are going through this. Mr Racette was one of my favorite teachers., I had him for many things 9th grade math, yearbook club and I had him for a class my senior year however I do not remember what it was for. But I know it was in that class Mr Racette had told me how much I had grown and mature in the last few years of school since he had me in 9th math . In fact I remember him telling me how much of a pain in the butt I was in 9th grade! And he was right! I talked a lot and goofed off and boy I remember the look he would give me when he was mad at me! That being said when he did tell me me in the last year of high school the incredible change I had made it meant a lot to me. Every once in a while on fb he would comment something silly on one of my posts ., didn’t I tell you not to talk to boys .. would be his favorite comment ., I’m going to miss that . Thank you Donna for sharing a part of your dad with us all.
Dear Shelly, thank you so much for these memories. Haha I know that “look” you speak of well – and coming from a 6’5″ man, it resonated, right?? I love that he always teased his girls about not being old enough to date! I’ve seen him say it to 60-something women and they grinned from ear to ear just as you and I did. Lots of love to you, my sweet friend. Thank you for sharing this with me and my family.
Love,
Donna
I will try this again as I forgot to put my name and e-mail address in
Back many years ago I remember what Don would do when he heard a train coming in Hadley, you, Donna, Mark, Kasia, Johnny, Julie and David would be picked up and he would drive to the train tracks to wait for the train to pass by. I guess you all would be waving to the conductor. So many memories we all have of the many things he would think of and do. Love to all of you, prayers and hugs. Love, Aunt Fran
Dear Aunt Fran, YES, I remember the train chasing so well! Often, Daddy would be napping when we’d hear the train. We’d all stampede into his room, “Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! TRAAAAAIN!!!” and he would leap out of bed with the same exuberance we all had (perhaps more!) Sometimes, we’d lay pennies on the track and get smooshed pennies to cherish. I love you so much, Aunt Fran and am grateful you’re truly part of our family.
Love,
Donna
Such a wonderful family and such fond memories of your dad. I especially remember the time wd got snowed in for a long weekend visit at Lake Luzern and having a blast of a snowball fight as we helped dig out, but mostly seeing uour dad up on the roof with a snow blower clearing it. What a hoot TC & I had. Then there is our wedding album full of his picturesas our photographer. Always ready with a joke and his quick wit & laugh. Yes – Death comes for us all and I know his faith will see him through to be with the Lord and join his prayers with all our relatives and cloud of witnesses for we still on our earthly sojourn. Please give Don our love and a huge HUG from us. May you all find peace and joy amidst the sortow as you face this passage with him. You’re all in our thoughts & prayers. ((((Hugs)))) to each of you. Pax Vobis.
My sweet cousin, thank you so much for these memories and for your love and prayers. It was Daddy’s great joy to photograph your & TC’s wedding. I will always relish how he captured the moment, the joy, the love. I am so grateful for you and your family. I admit, I had to Google “Pax Vobis” … ‘Peace be with you.’ Thank you, Chuck and may peace be with you, too, always. Love you.
Love,
Donna
Donna,
Such wonderful memories of your dad as my speech teacher. A classroom of all girls. He took us on a field trip to Albany to a radio station and TV station. We got pictures of some radio personalities. Boom Boom Boom Branagen. He called us his girls. Your dad was such a positive image for us teenage girls. Your mom was my choir director. What a beautiful spirit she had. Love them both. My prayers are with you all.
Thank you so much for these memories, Helen! I just love the way my Momma & Daddy so freely embraced their students as if they were their own kids. So much love, grace, and faith, they just had to dole it out. I’m grateful you were one of the recipients. Thank you for sharing with us here. It means so much. Love and peace to you always!
Love,
Donna
Donna, I did not know your dad, but knowing you I must of known part of him!! God Bless you, one of the kindest people I ever met!!! ❤️
This is one of the most beautiful things to read. Indeed, you knew my Daddy because you know and love me – I love that!! I love you, Sue Mills. Peace, light, and love to you always.
Love,
Donna
Hey my love, Your dad was a second dad to me as I was growing up. I have all the memories……He is larger than life…..and so full of love and shenanigans. I have always known that I am a part of your family. I even received the same scoldings that you did when we both misbehaved (which of course was usually your fault!)Somehow he got us to run around and clean your whole house on Saturday mornings before we were allowed to play outside. And we thought it was FUN! Ha ha! He made a big game of it! We chased endless trains! Jumping in his convertible at the sound of the train! Sometimes we faked hearing one so that we could race down the road with him, wind in our hair! He always believed in me….and I knew it. He gave me one of the lead roles in “Our Miss Brooks” and pulled me right out of my shell. Nobody believed I could do it. But he knew me. Mainly, he was always there. Big and solid. With a smile and laugh as big as his giant tall body. I will forever treasure my memories of him. Love you all so very much!❤️
My beautiful forever friend, thank you so much for these memories (I’m not crying – YOU’RE crying lol). And certainly, I was the instigator of so many of our shenanigans. But then again, we can all see where I learned THAT, right? Indeed, you were one of Daddy’s cherished little girls and I will forever love you like a sister. I love you so much, Jules. Thank you for sharing every step of this journey with me. Means more than you know.
Love,
Donna
I’ll be praying for you and your family. Your Mom and Dad are rare treasures!! You have been so blessed! God is faithful and the separation is but for a moment. There is a new day coming and we will all be reunited!! I hear that old hymn…”what a day of rejoicing that will be!”
Beautifully stated, Wendy. Thank you! I am truly blessed and grateful. Lots of love to you.
Love,
Donna
I awoke to the same beauty this morning! These are beautiful memories you have and the best thing is that you will have the forever. Keeping you all in my prayers my curly haired friend ❤️.
Well, good beautiful morning to you, Cathie! Thank you so much for your thoughtful prayers, my curly girl friend. Love & Light!!
Love,
Donna
I sooo remember Speech class with your Dad. He always made it abundantly clear you DO HAVE to get up in front of the class. lol And I can’t tell you how I hated talking in front of a class, hence why I would never raise my hand with answers in any class. 😉 And he always had a retort for someone, no matter the circumstance, good, bad or indifferent, he said it like it was, tall and strong voiced, and when he walked, it seemed like he was on a “high speed chase” through the halls going from one place to another and he left a breeze blowing by you as he walked. 🙂 But, there was always an air of respect for him that I remember and he had a hearty laugh with a voice that commanded you to think. The days of “good” teachers, (and I’m not saying there are none these days, but they are few and far between,) that teach from the heart and soul as your parents did are in very short supply. Hugs to you and your family Donna.
What great memories, Linda and thank you so much for sharing them. I know that “high speed chase” walk you speak of well! When I was little, I took 13 little steps for every one of his haha. So many great memories and I’m so grateful you’re a part of them. Love you!
Love,
Donna
How beautifully written. I do not know your daddy as I just met him one time but he must be wonderful to have had your mom stay for over 60 years and he has a great daughter!! Love you and praying for you!!
Thank you so much, my beautiful Yellow Texas Rose! Momma & Daddy taught me faith, love, and respect and I’m forever grateful. I am also grateful to call you, friend. You’re the best and I love you.
Love,
Donna
Sending love and praying for you all (Philippians 4:6-7). I am so thankful and blessed that your family was my second family growing up
The memories just flood back when I stop and think of growing up and spending so much time on Park Avenue in Hadley. Of course, I have to start with chasing trains. I especially remember the one time that we hatch a plan to trick your Dad and say that we “heard” a train whistle. We roused him from his afternoon nap and raced to the train tracks … just in time to see a small track cleaner rumble slowly by the crossing.
The memories are countless: playing in the playroom at the end of the hall just a little too loudly, or worse yet, closing the door; camping at the Battleground park in Lake George; going to work with him at the radio station so that Mark and I could hang out and watch the Minor League Baseball team at East Field; when we were really little – walking on Dad’s back to help give him a back rub (we were probably watching “Wizard of Oz” at the time); watching family movies in the basement theater; going for boat rides on the Hudson River in that amazing orange motor boat; hanging out at Dad’s office on the stage in the High School; the school plays – all of them – from watching them to participating in them; the numerous sleepovers … I could keep going forever.
I have to end with the bare spots in the lawn from all those hours Mark and spent throwing the baseball. We played so much in that same spot by the fence that we killed the grass. Dad always asked me when I was going to replant the grass there and even added that to my yearbook message. 🙂
I love your Dad and Mom so much. I love you, Mark and Donna. Sending much love and many hugs to each of you especially right now.
This warms my heart on every level, my first forever friend, my “brother”!! We were born 8 days apart (yeah, yeah… I’m older – not nearly as fun to admit now that we’re half centurions lol) and we have always been family. For this, and for all these beautiful, fun memories you shared, I will always be grateful and blessed. We all love you so much, David. Thank you for sharing here so we can always look back and reflect on those precious growing-up years.
Love,
Donna
Hello Donna
I’m happy to add my love and best wishes to your Dad, your Mom, and to the rest of your family. I have many happy memories from my childhood. Among them, the years spent at HLCS as a student and then later as a faculty member. I remember fondly, the first time I met your your Dad. It was at a high school dance where he was a DJ. I was perhaps in 7th or 8th grade and I believe he worked as a DJ back then at WWSC?. We were all so impressed that an actual professional DJ was there. Your Mom brought her gifts to our music department. The concerts were wonderful. I was fortunate to have had your Mom and Dad as well as Fran and John Pickens as chaperones on my senior trip to Washington. It was in 1966. It was an experience that none of us will forget. Some kids had never traveled any farther than Glens Falls! So many wonderful memories. From his days as the AV guy, to his speech classes, and his many theatrical productions, your Dad has left his impression upon each of us fortunate to have known him. Thank you Don for a job well done. May your days be filled with the love of family and friends. You are so loved.
Patti
Dear Mrs. Polunci, thank you so much for sharing this great look back. I love that your memories of my parents and my Aunt Fran & Uncle John are so similar to the ones I hold dear of you and your amazing husband. He was my 5th grade teacher and I’ve always loved you both so much. We have so much for which to be grateful from our HLCS days (Hadley-Luzerne Central School for those who don’t know). I am grateful. Lots of love and well wishes to you always.
Love,
Donna
My deepest sympathy to you and your family. He will always be well remembered.
My deepest sympathy to you and your family. Don will always be well remembered.
Thank you so much, dear sweet Rose Anna. You are a precious, cherished friend, who is so important to our family. Thank you for being there for Momma and our family. I love you!!
Love,
Donna
All my love goes to all of you.. My heart is breaking with all of yours too. Your Mom & Dad felt like my Mom & Dad for so many years, as we watched all you youngins grow up & leave the nest. Babysitting you guys was a highlight for me. .The church choir with your Mom was sensational…(and NOBODY could play the tambourine as good as me !!) there will never be another like it… Your Dad, always supported all of us…. he is such a kind & generous soul that Heaven will be lucky to have. It is so hard losing the ones we love and grow attached to. I am fighting the tears as I am writing this… Positive thoughts & prayers are coming your way…please give your Mom & Dad a great BIG Hug from me…
Love, Always,
Nita..
I feel your heart and thank you for sharing these memories, top babysitter Nita! It’s true, there has never been a more awesome tambourine player than you! Sharing love and light with you always. Hugs!!
Love,
Donna
There are a couple of things that stick out in my mind about Don. One is pretty comical, before Steve and I got married we were at the house and your dad gave Steve a sheet of paper and guess what it said – you still have time to run. We got such a laugh out of that but I told him that he gave it to the wrong person, he should have given it to me. Another thing I always enjoyed and miss so much was when we all did the nursing home ministry. Your dad loved playing the drums and reading Scripture and of course going out to eat afterwards. We always had such a great time.
I love these memories, Lee Bug Luv Bug! That’s too funny about the note Daddy slipped to Steve haha!! I am blessed I was able to be part of the nursing home ministry you all had and it was so fun to watch Daddy bring out his drumming skills from when he played in the Army! What a beautiful way to share God’s love. And now, during this time, Daddy is getting that love shared with him. I am grateful. Lots of love to you always.
Love,
Donna
we were glad for the times you could join us too. Much loves goes out to all of you
The lesson I have begun to learn this year throughout my journey with cancer, is FAITH OVER FEAR. I KNOW that your Dad already learned that lesson. He has lived that lesson…. He is looking forward to seeing Jesus. I am sitting at my computer, crying as I type .. not because he is going to heaven but, because I will no longer have my “Zing-Slinging, Wise-Cracking, Joke-Sharing, Public Speaking-Loving, Music-Sharing, Belly-Laughing, Grin-Bearing, Kim-Loving, Pal here on earth. Oh, how I will miss him… I have WAY TOO many memories to share in this little box so, I will leave you with one and I will keep the others in my heart.
While as Freshman at HLCS, I took speech class. I was the only Freshman in the class. At finals time, the directions on the test read “Answer 4 of the 6 Essay questions”. I got so caught up in showing what I had learned, that I only answered 3. Right after turning in the test, I realized I had only answered 3.. I went back and said “Could I please answer the 4th?”.. His response was profound and has stayed with me my whole life (a tough lesson at the time but, always the teacher)..He said.. “If I let you answer the question, what lesson will you have learned? will you take your time the next time? Will you be more careful to read direction on form that you must fill out throughout you life?.. .so, NO.. you may not. A hard lesson to learn but , one that I HAVE NEVER FORGOTTEN.. Learning comes in so many way.
God Bless my “FRIEND” and his whole amazing family.. I love you all.
Dear Kimmer, and I am crying as I read this and respond. Not because what you wrote is sad but because you are and always have been such a cherished part of our family. You stated your bond with Daddy so perfectly… “Zing-Slinging, Wise-Cracking, Joke-Sharing, Public Speaking-Loving, Music-Sharing, Belly-Laughing, Grin-Bearing, Loving, Pals here on earth”. Thank for sharing this with us. I love you so much!
Love,
Donna
When we met in the early 90s, your Dad was especially kind to me as was your family. I will always recall the silliness you both engaged in freely when I was there. Dancing, singing and poking fun…with a huge smile the whole time. I am sorry and I will be praying for you and your family during this difficult time.
So many great memories, Earl. Thank you so much for reaching out to share. Freely engaging in silliness is what we do. Love & light!
Love,
Donna
Donna, as always, your beautiful words paint indelible images of love and family. My heart is with you, Debbie, Mark and your mom through your Dad’s transition. Do I detect a reference to the ol’ standard “Funiculi Funicula???” Once again, my heart is with you.
Thank you so much, my sweet friend. Forever grateful for your friendship and love. Love and light to you always.
Love,
Donna
I remember being swept up in his arms as he would sing “Da da da da da Tc…” and then a big “DIP!” We loved how our tall, movie-showing, boat-driving, and fun-loving uncle indulged our requests for play.
He also photographed my wedding and a cherished memory was when Chuck and I got snowed in at the house in Lake Luzerne.
Love my, Uncle Don!!!
Absolutely, T – the DIP was the best – and especially b/c it came from so high up haha! I smile as I read your sentiments. Our family is so special to me and I love you big.
Love,
Donna
When someone is famous like “Mr. Racette” but you know him best as “daddy” it’s got to be surreal. Part of you is happy because everyone can relate to the character you know, but then part of you is sad because you want to keep him all for yourself. Well, you and your family will always have the most special, most dear, most deep memories. Connected forever. Find peace and joy in his rest and smile in the knowledge of how many lives he touched. HLCS and beyond!
Dear Michael & Jackie, thank you so much for this thoughtful glimpse. Your words touch my heart and choke me up. I’m blessed you were always such a big part of our family. Much love and light to you always.
Love,
Donna
I have many fond memories of visits to the Racette home in the heart of the Adirondacks while growing up…the long stairs down to the dock and the “Pumpkin Seed” that provided many fun boat rides, the movies and photos and the “media room” in the basement, but most of all his crazy personality that produced so much laughter and joy. And, of course, the endless corny jokes from him, my dad, and Uncle Hank. My own standout memory is the two weeks I spent with you all during the summer (I believe it was 1979). I do so wish Bridget and kids could have met Uncle Don, our distance being an unfortunate side effect of military life. But they have all heard about him through my recollections. Our prayers and thoughts are with you all, as well as a special empathy with our father’s (my father in-law) passing still so fresh in our hearts. Our love to you!!
What a challenging year on so many fronts and I’m beyond grateful we are family, dear Johnny. Geographic distance can never stand in the way of our family’s connection or the love and frivolity we are blessed to so freely enjoy. A multitude of cherished memories we will relish forever. Thank you for sharing so many here. Love you so much!
Love,
Donna
One day as I was leaving the pool here in Hillsborough your dad was getting ready to leave note on my car I said you giving me a note? He said yes ma’ma and proceeded to put in on my windshield it was a joke a good one too I keep it in my car for a while wish I could find it now. May you Rest In Peace Don.
Thank you for sharing this memory, Daysy. Daddy was so fond of his Hillsborough friends and neighbors and truly enjoyed typing and sharing his jokes with you all. You are a blessing!
Love,
Donna
I know your Dad was very special to your and your family! I see how much you all loved him! But I guess he was special to God as well, that is why he called him up to heaven to watch your backs from up above! Wishing you peace to bring comfort, courage to face the days ahead and loving memories to forever hold in your heart!
Such beautiful perspective and I appreciate this, Dianne and Dom. Thank you. Many blessings, love, and light to you.
Love,
Donna